Trade You

There are some super annoying things out there, both in the internets and in real life. Wouldn't it be great if we could get rid of them? I think so. So I have decided to broker some deals:

Republicans: If you stop claiming that President Obama is not a natural-born citizen of the United States (please read this if you believe this

then...

Democrats: You'll have to stop asserting that Bush stole the presdency in 2000.

Texas people: If you stop claiming your home state is better than the other 49 put together

then..

The rest of us will call everything that is bigger than it should be "Texas-sized." For example:

-Did you see that Texas-sized spider in the garage?

-Wow! That's a Texas-sized apple.

-Them pants is Texas-sized!

Left-handers (myself included): If you learn how to use scissors like normal human beings

then...

Right-handers: You can only nod and smile when we claim we're more creative because we use the "right side of our brain." This is incredibly comforting to us.

Cash for Gold companies: If you promise to give us fair market value for our old rings, necklaces, and "grills"

then...

People who send you said items promise not to use the money to buy American Idol on Tour tickets. True, the Cash for Gold companies get nothing in return, but they would be serving the greater good, right?

Mexican soccer fans: If you stop throwing debris on our players every time we head south to play your team

then...

We promise not to wear soccer shorts in public.

Send me some of your annoying things and I'll try to broker a deal for you. Deal, or no deal?

Late night

Funny.  I’m So Tired by the Beatles just popped up on Pandora.  Fitting.  It’s 1:05 a.m., and I’m still at work.  I will probably be here until late afternoon tomorrow, or since it’s after midnight, I should say late afternoon today.  It’s a crazy business, this ad biz.  I love it.

Here are some random observations about working 24+ hour days at this place. (I can’t name where I work.  There is seriously a staffer who checks blogs for references to the company.):

• You eat dinner around 8 or so.  Then you just keep eating.  The account people hook you up with all sorts of snacks.  Sun Chips.  Vegetables.  Beef jerky.  Trail mix.  You eat and eat and eat and eat.  Your stomach bloats, you can’t walk upright, but you don’t care ‘cause there’s a ton of free food.   Then you eat breakfast around 8 a.m. because hey, it’s breakfast time.
• There’s a dude that works here who LOVES 80s music, but he waits until after midnight before he turns up the volume to 11.  He’s blasting “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.”  I mean, loud.  You can hear it across the agency.  Love that guy.  Seriously.
• I am listening to Pandora on my laptop through some amazing JBL speakers I am borrowing from a co-worker.  You can also hear my music across the agency.  I get bolder the later it gets.  Some funny songs pop up.  For example, I am listening to “Knight Jumps the Queen” by Annihilator.
• It’s impossible and completely false, but I believe it anyway: time goes faster between midnight and 6 a.m.
• Mosquitoes sneak into this place and bite you in the wee hours.   
• No matter how late you work, you are never alone.  There is always a poor unfortunate soul (or souls) working longer than you.
  

In other news, we recently moved to Firestone, Colorado.  Nice place, actually.  Small town, but I like it.  Only two main problems.  1. It smells like poop.  It’s farm land, so the town has an excuse.  2. There is no roller skating rink.

We are heading to Vegas in a few days for a baby blessing.  Chanel said if I’m good during the car ride to Vegas we can go to Disneyland.  Odds are 5:2 that I will get carsick at least once, and 2:1 that Lauren will barf.  She’s a silent barfer, which is so lady-like.